Comments on: Work it OUT! http://ozbots.wordpress.com/2008/03/16/work-it-out/ jezze * catsy * angelo * aldrich * gj Tue, 01 Apr 2008 06:07:46 +0000 http://wordpress.com/ hourly 1 By: frances http://ozbots.wordpress.com/2008/03/16/work-it-out/#comment-139 frances Thu, 27 Mar 2008 09:31:49 +0000 http://ozbots.wordpress.com/?p=25#comment-139 ^ Nice entry but... I agree with theHulk on chopping this essay into paragraphs. When reading your essay, I also get the impression that you're telling more than showing what happened. The insights seem to drown the narration. Maybe you can <em>work it out</em> for the final version ;) ^ Nice entry but…
I agree with theHulk on chopping this essay into paragraphs.

When reading your essay, I also get the impression that you’re telling more than showing what happened. The insights seem to drown the narration. Maybe you can work it out for the final version ;)

]]> By: thehulk http://ozbots.wordpress.com/2008/03/16/work-it-out/#comment-130 thehulk Wed, 19 Mar 2008 13:55:07 +0000 http://ozbots.wordpress.com/?p=25#comment-130 Catsy talks about moving on from highschool to college. She remembers talking to a friend and feeling that they lead different lives now. She also talks about how college isn't as fun as she thought it would be. She then recounts how she didn't give herself a chance to get to know her blockmates. It takes her a while to realize her mistake and take the time to get to know her blockmates. She finally talks about 2 kinds of people and how she is the kind that will write her story. Comments: Good flow of thoughts Few grammatical errors Very nice insights Could be better organize into smaller paragraphs Catsy talks about moving on from highschool to college. She remembers talking to a friend and feeling that they lead different lives now. She also talks about how college isn’t as fun as she thought it would be. She then recounts how she didn’t give herself a chance to get to know her blockmates. It takes her a while to realize her mistake and take the time to get to know her blockmates. She finally talks about 2 kinds of people and how she is the kind that will write her story.

Comments:
Good flow of thoughts
Few grammatical errors
Very nice insights
Could be better organize into smaller paragraphs

]]> By: Hi Math Guide » Archivio » Work it OUT! http://ozbots.wordpress.com/2008/03/16/work-it-out/#comment-126 Hi Math Guide » Archivio » Work it OUT! Mon, 17 Mar 2008 05:25:15 +0000 http://ozbots.wordpress.com/?p=25#comment-126 [...] unknown: [...] [...] unknown: [...]

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